Rocket Rattling

We've been shaking rockets at people for years - and no-one has ever invited us to disarmament talks. In fact wise people buy them from us for their own use. The Giotto people were very clever to mould the air bulb of their camera cleaning syringe with four stubby fins at the back end of it. Not only does it allow you to set the thing on its tail and keep the nozzel out of the dust, it makes for unbeatable advertising copy. I note, as well, that they have put " environmentally friendly " on the packaging to make people feel better. I bet Thiokol and Lockheed Martin don't do that on their ICBMs and they probably don't get half as many sales to the general public... But, is the kit for you? Is it going to do anything good for you? How can the individual bits actually benefit your photography? a. The lens cloth. Well, when you are out in the world and the fingerprints and insects start to get too much, wipe them off your lens and LCD screen with the cleaning cloth. Guard it jealously against other people using it to polish spectacles or spit- clean kids faces. b. The cleaning solution. This is an aid to that cleaning cloth if the fingers that hit your lens had been holding a sticky bun. Do not spray it directly onto the lens front - spray it on the cloth and use that. It can also be used to wet-mop the outside of the camera body if you are careful. c. The ultra-brush. This is as much good an most of the other things combined whan you are dealing with dust outside your camera. It retracts into the housing to stay clean. Use it to loosen the particles before blowing them away or picking them up with the Q-tips. d. The Q tips are double ended for pursuing gudge into the smaller crevices outside the camera. Not for your sensor, please. They can also be used for manicures or painting British camouflage patterns onto model aircraft. e. The blower is the all-purpose shifter in the kit, and the only thing that you can vaguely point at a sensor in times of distress. From a good distance away and only after you have made the outside of the camera pristine with the other bits in the kit. Even then, you do not want to drive extra contaminants onto or under your sensor's filter cover. If in doubt, get a tech to clean it - they have finer grades of steel wool and smaller angle grinders than you will have access to. All of these functions can be applied to the film camera as well as the digital one. If none of them get your camera clean consider washing your hands, getting a new wardrobe, and taking more showers. NOTE: Today is Australian Federation Day so get out there and federate until they call the bouncer. It is also National Queasy Headache Day but I don't think there is a connection with the events of January 1, 1901. I am also going to declare it National Finally Clean The Cameras, Lenses, And Camera Bag Day and am going to look out the Karcher from the shed.