The Tour de Photo

on March 23, 2021
We are accustomed to seeing television coverage of the Tour de France - at least in normal years. Also Grand Tours of Europe undertaken to gain culture rather than sore legs - also in normal times. Even lesser locations have conducted excursions - the Tour de Manangatang comes to mind - and people stream out of the pub to either see or be seen. We need to institute a Tour de Photo event to boost our art - or at least to whip up a little trade. Several ideas have been mooted: a. Hold a long distance car rally/travelling gourmet/photo opportunity event on a set course round either the south west, the wheatfields, or out past Meekatharra. Set stages, timed runs, required photos, and local cuisine. As you get to each stage you download your photos of the last stop to be judged. 5 days on the road should see the average photographer shot out, crapulous, and with a number of traffic fines. b. Do exactly the same for the wedding enthusiasts. Imagine the delight of a bride upon seeing 28 strange photographers rush into the church and up the aisle to capture the perfect altar moment before haring off down the street to the next ceremony. 6 weddings in three hours and damn the bridesmaids, full speed ahead. This could make a great one-Saturday event that would be talked about for years...or as long as it takes for the cases to come to court. I love romance... c. Food photography is all the rage, as is Instagramming and other social bragadoccio. Why not a Tour de Eateries that sees the contestants completing a set course of set courses throughout the metro area. They must photograph and eat whatever dish they order before being released to the next stage. Restaurants will sensibly raise their prices on small snacks to cater for this as the rule is you must finish your plate. The stages will be done in reverse order - chocolatier shop first, followed by fish restaurant, followed by a succession of ever-odder eateries, with the last call being at Le Gaviscon. Contestants who fall bilious by the wayside will have their cameras confiscated and sold to cover the cost of the stomach pump.